if dreams were lightning & thunder was desire, this old house would have burnt down a long time ago.

Hey dorks.

A couple of quick things, on my inaugural post, and then I have to get back to watching Telenovelas to pay the rent. Forgive me for my itemized list, it's how all the great minds work. The topics of discussion for the day are as follows:

1) Locker Room Etiquette
2) Literati Skillz
3) SARS
4) The pope
5) Steve McQueen (King of Being an Asshole)
6) Cartoons and Cages (WTF is the Problem, people?)

1) I don't understand grown men's (non-sexual, apparently) obsession with being flagrantly naked in front of each other in the locker room of my gym. Every time I go in to work out, and come back to get undressed before taking a shower, I make sure that there is a minimum of time that my naked ass is presented to the entirety of the room. I do this not out of shame (Katie tells me it's pretty good looking) or fear, but RESPECT.

But somehow, these wingbats seem to feel it's their right and duty to get undressed facing towards the center of the room, spend as much time as possible completely bare naked (walking to the scales, standing in front of the mirror, slathering their naked bodies with lotion, etc). Today, a giant gross troll of a man walked from his locker, to the drinking fountain, brushed his teeth, lotioned up, and performed some DEEP LEG STRETCHES all completely naked, with a towel draped across his shoulders, his bits flopping around for the world to see. So I have to put up a mental divider that starts from the floor and goes all the way up to slightly below my neck. Are they trolling for dates? Want to show off? Is this some primate behavior relating back to vying for prime ape status I'm unaware of?

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2) I am the king of Literati. I have a streak of 16 games right now, and I don't see any signs of slowing. I accept all challenges, however. Bring it.

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3) I'm sick. It's been more than a month with this thing, and apparently antibiotics are worthless against it. So it's officially SARS, and I'm officially dying, so everyone better get your respects ready for the wife, she's about to be widowed.

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4) The pope is coming to New York on the 20th. Who wants to come? It'd be neat to see the hat, the car, the pomp, the audacity.

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5) Steve broke out of the kitchen yesterday while we were working and did some Major Work on the apartment. I know we named him after the brash and daring hero of "The Great Escape", but COME ON, DOG. Next time you want to tear apart a copy of Steven King's "It", eat two bags of chocolate M&M's, and ravage the entire place, let us know in advance so we don't come home unknowingly to a disaster area.

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6) Why is it that animators always make the bars in cartoons so far apart? The character inside could OBVIOUSLY squeeze through, especially given general cartoon physics, specifically regarding the flexibility, mobility, and malleability of the average cartoon character. Is it because they're worried about the bars being too opaque and blocking our view? Someone get on this, please, thanks.

2 comments

  1. chris o on April 8, 2008 at 9:58 AM

    the audacity...of pope? sorry, couldn't resist.

     
  2. Dan on April 9, 2008 at 6:49 AM

    i think audacity is a pretty appropriate adjective to ascribe to anyone who wears the fisherman's ring.

    -DvE