I, a girl who hates to be woken up, responded in a very irritated voice "WHAT?"
Dan, still asleep, said, "please check for the spiders."
I sat up and looked around, saw nothing, and instead of being a good wife and saying "Shh, honey. No spiders, Sleep well", instead replied "What are you even talking about?"
Dan apparently didn't appreciate this, and yanked all of the covers off of me and pulled them over his own head while exclaiming, "NEVER MIND. I'LL CHECK MYSELF." and promptly returned to a state of rest.
I was left cold and exhausted, but completely humored, on my side of the bed. I decided to see what else I could get him to say.
"Honey, are you awake?"
I chuckled, trying to be silent.
"Honey, did you know you just asked me about spiders?"
"No I didn't. I was playing scrabble."
I'm DYING laughing.
He wakes up.
And does NOT think I was funny.
I was lucky to get any covers back.
This morning he was still angry, and seriously wanted to know why I wouldn't just check for the stinkin' spiders so he could get out of his nightmare.
So maybe I'm not winning any wife-of-the-year awards...but man, he's a cute sleep talker.
About a year ago, he woke me up by kicking violently at something under the covers.
I sat up quickly, in a panic that a rat or roach might have been in our bed. I'm on the verge of tears, going "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?"
He responds simply, "There's a sneaker."
"A sneaker. There's a sneaker."
"You mean a shoe? A tennis shoe? There's nothing down there...and who even uses that term? Sneaker??" (I told you, I'm grumpy when sleepy.)
"A SNAKE. IN THE RIVER. THERE'S A SNAKE IN THE RIVER."
"Shh honey, it's okay. No snakes. Just sleep." Laughter is struggling to escape so violently that my ears are popping and my eyes are watering.
The poor dear.
I petted his hair and snuggled in close.
Even in dreams, he makes me smile.