if dreams were lightning & thunder was desire, this old house would have burnt down a long time ago.

1. blog more. i want to have a record of my life, witnesses, encouragement, accountability, and most all, the ability to make a realistic reflection before starting 2010. plus, it helps me sort my thoughts at the end of the day and provides an outlet for my emotions. and i love to write.

2. write more. maybe look into starting a book. finally. at the very least, maintain the gift, facilitate its growth, see where it goes.

3. listen more. while i have calmed down immensely since college, i still don't feel that i have become the epitome of a good listener. i don't want to leave people with the impression that i care only about myself, but that i truly and eager to learn more about everyone else. i've spent 24 years talking. i want to hear some great things. this year, i will ask more questions, and hear more stories.

4. spend less. enough said.

5. complain less. i'll be grateful for what i have, and focus more energy on being positive. this is going to be a hard year, because i plan to start back up in school, and i will do well to remember that positivity is crucial during hard times.

6. snark less. i will speak sweetly to those i love.

*miscellaneous things i also want to work on:
-keep the house clean(ish).
-get my dog more exercise.
-stay on top of homework in school.
-take better care of my body.
-learn some more recipes and cook more at home!
-take the time to look my best before going to work or school. this seems silly, but it makes such a difference in my attitude throughout the day.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you had never done before?
i married the swooniest man alive.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i didn't make any last year that i can recall right now, but i am certainly developing a lost of expectations of myself for the next year, which i'm going to be posting on here.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
my cousin madison, who i grew up next to and is closer to me than a sister, gave birth to the first baby of our generation, willow olivia goodrich. she is truly breathtaking.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
i can thankfully say no.

5. What countries did you visit?
dan and i went to grand cayman, cozumel, honduras, and belize on our honeymoon. grand cayman was my favorite.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
more nerve to stand up for myself, and the chance to continue my education.

7. What dates from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 22: our wedding. June 28th: our reception. August 14th: Willow's birth. September 28th: the day we left for our honeymoon.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
thriving in new york for another year.

9. What was your biggest failure?
trying to build up my credit. this seems to be an impossible task.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
some colds here and there, which are part of my job as a nanny. otherwise, i've been very lucky this year!

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my new macbook, who i have named olive gomerrybuttons. she's a dream!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Both mine and my husband's. We have come through almost an entire year of marriage, and we make a really incredible team. we're both learning so much about how to love each other and people around us, and we help each other so much. i'm so proud of him for making the decison to start medical school and following through, and succeeding during his first semester, and i'm proud of myself for working harder than i've ever worked in my life and still keeping up with everything else. i love you, bear!

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
we've had our issues with some people, but nothing that wasn't resolved and improved.

14. Where did most of your money go?
RENT. ugh. bills in general.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
getting the puppy, the wedding, the receptions, the honeymoon, and CHRISTMAS!

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Mr. Violin and Dancing Bear, by Page France

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? oh so much happier, though last year i was pretty wildly happy, too.
b) thinner or fatter? a little thinner, woo hoo!
c) richer or poorer? slightly better off.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
spent time with family, saved money, and rested.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
working, hands down. i can't believe how much of this year was spent at work, or commuting to and from work.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas morning we opened presents with dan's dad who stayed with us, then in the evening we made a HUGE dinner for our friends who were stuck in nyc for the holidays, and it was amazing.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I was already in love. I am lucky.

23. What concerts did you attend this year?
too many to even count. lots of stationary set shows, jeff taylor shows, one decemberists show, and tons of others sprinkled here and there.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
House. and dan and i made our way through the entire 6 feet under series, so we were obsessed with that for a while.

25. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn't dislike this time last year?
no. if anything, i like more people now than i did last year.
although, dan's ex girlfriend, who i didn't like simply on principal, moved in downstairs this summer, and became my best friend. that's kind of nuts.

26. What was the best book you read?
water for elephants.
right now i'm reading a book called then we came to the end, and i'm completed sucked into it. i love it.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
jeff taylor.

28. What did you want and get?
more pay, a new camera, a juicer, a laptop, a dog, and a husband. KACHING!

29. What did you want and not get?
a winning lotto ticket. not to say we didn't try!

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
i turned 24 on august 3rd, and i spent it with dan and my othersis, casey, who dan flew out to visit me as my birthday gift. it was marvelous. we went to my favorite restaurant for brunch and spent the day shopping in soho.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
starting school.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
i gave up on trying to look new york, and finally started to look katie. i feel fabulous.

34. What kept you sane?
my husband, though some days he made me insane, too. ha!

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
robert downey freaking jr. dfjakjghsldfkjghldskjgh

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
the election of barack obama, of course...but also proposition 8 in california. my stomach still hurts when i think about how far we still have to go. i can't believe america is still struggling with civil rights. which brings me to another favorite film of the year: Harvey Milk.

37. Who did you miss?
my family. oh, i miss them.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Kate, my new neighbor/bestfriend/dan's ex. haha.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Life is what you make it. Be the change you want to see in the world.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"I am humbled in this city
There seems to be an endless sea of
people like us, wakeful dreamers,
I pass them on the sunlit streets
In our rooms filled with laughter
We make hope from every small disaster
Everybody says "you can't, you can't, you can't, don't try."Carolyn
Still everybody says that if they had the chance
they'd fly like we do."
Painting By Chagall, by the Weepies

I tag:
Bear, Mandy, Yeags, and Carolyn!
Eels (the band, not the monsterfish). The possibility of getting a van to drive around the city (a car in the city, what??). My dog and my wife (not necessarily in that order). Being back in school (except not for finals which are next week). Playing a show in Philadelphia tomorrow night, randomly (anyone out there wanna come see?)

oh and parentheses.
i miss a lot of people today.

i wish new york city had a cider mill.

i want to have so many children so my house is full of the sounds of life all the time.

so much happens here, but i feel like i'm missing out on so much happening elsewhere.
i wish it was possible to do everything, to be everywhere, always.
though i'm sure i'd be exhausted.
sometimes when i have a bad day, or month as the case may be, it helps me to make a list of the things that make me happy.

so here:

-the giant bowl of halloween candy next to the couch.
-takeout chinese for four bucks a person.
-a husband who does the dishes.
-the beautiful fall bouquet of autumn leaves and eucalyptus and cattails and wheat on our end table.
-my new patterned socks.
-the new rubber boots i have coming in the mail.
-feeling thinner than i have in years. 140 and holding steady. (thats 35 pounds since my college days. yee-ha!)
-peeling off nailpolish.
-watching episodes of six feet under.
-the popcorn i'm going to eat for dinner.
-the sight of the empire state building from my living room window.
-my midnight pomegranate candle.
-clean laundry. i don't have any, but it makes me happy when i do.
-a clean house. i don't have one, but it makes me happy when i do.
-the promise of weekend freedom. just two days away.
-a mug of tea, which i will have to accompany my popcorn for dinner.
-the way my dog sleeps on his back with his paws stretched all the way out, in between Dan and myself at night, even though he's "not allowed" on the bed.
-watching my stupid dog tries to catch leaves blowing in the wind with his teeth.
-this musician i just started listening to named greg laswell.
-being friends with my ex-fiancee's girlfriend. she is great. this makes me VERY happy.
-really delicious harmonies.
-knowing thanksgiving is just around the corner and that we get to host dinner for dan's mom and stepdad.
-pumpkin bread.

...there. that's better.
i started my day off with a mug of theraflu and ten extra minutes to sip it and relax and try to begin my day on a positive note.

that was great.
but then the G train was fifteen minutes late, causing me to miss the E train, causing me to be very late to work, and i forgot my umbrella at home and it was raining.

and then max was still sick and then his school was cancelled so he had to stay home with me and we went to barnes and noble and he accidentally fell asleep in the stroller for all of ten minutes and when he woke up, he did not go back to sleep. once. for the rest of the day.

and then dan called and said steve escaped his cage and that stupid mutt demolished our apartment.
but my darling bear cleaned it all up.

and then i kept working, and max was a terror, and made me pull out all my hair.
so now im bald.


i'm home now.
i don't have the energy to make dinner, or clean the bedroom, or do anything but watch episodes of six feet under, which i cant do because husband has to study so he can be a good doctor and i can be a stay at home wife.

can't wait.
so tired.
want to punch my job in the face.

better luck tomorrow.
It is so hard for me to get out of bed each morning and watch the pup steal my spot next to my husband in my warm, cozy bed.
Even harder now that mornings are darker and darker each day.
I don't do well without sunshine.

Work today was manageable- Max is very very sick so he had to stay home from preschool, and went all manic on me whoch was not much fun. But I gave him benadryl and let him run up and down the hallway in the apt building until he crashed...and he napped FROM ONE UNTIL FIVE. amazing.
Micah is starting to walk, so I spent the afternoon chasing him around the living room, setting up little obstacle courses and seeing how far he could make it without falling down or reaching out for support. He was such a little cruiser.

When I got home, husband informed me that he bought me new rainboots from target and they will be arriving very soon in the mail. Gosh, he is darling. This weekend is our dating anniversary, but we're not technically supposed to celebrate that anymore cuz we're married and stuff. But we are anyway. I need a good fancy date.

I'm in a slump.
Everyone please keep their fingers crossed that at least one of the three schools i applied to takes me in.

i want to be a teacher.
...and i really want summers off.
i suppose i need to be better at updating this little guy.

i have to admit, i'm so tired every night after work, and dan is usually using the laptop to do his homework, so the ol' bloggeroo really gets neglected. i promise to get better at this.

and dan, quit getting all political in here. post it on your facebook. this is a marriage/life in nyc/turning into grownups blog.
i looove youuuu...

right now i'm sitting at home, watching old episodes of home improvement and looking at the various blogs of people i was once close with, feeling very homesick and very disconnected from the world.

i'm hoping to get my life back when i start school in january. working fifty hours a week plus devoting two hours of every day to riding the subway to and from work is taking a serious toll on my well-being and general zeal for life.

i just need to get back on track with making my dreams come true, and nannying is not cutting it.

just a tiny vent.

on the bright side, it's autumn. i live in new york city. it's almost halloween.
all of these things bring me joy.

i miss everyone.
(CBS) CBS News anchor Katie Couric talked one-on-one with Cindy McCain about her husband's selection of Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin to be his running mate. They also discussed social issues, such as abortion. Couric began by asking McCain if the governor has been rattled by the intense media scrutiny.

Cindy McCain: No, she's not the least bit shell shocked. She's tough, she's smart. She's extremely on target with the job she needs to be doing. No she's a very - she's an amazing woman. She really is. I'm very impressed with her.

Katie Couric: When did you and your husband first discuss her as a possibility?

McCain: A while ago. We had, as you know, John and I pretty much discuss everything. And he brought her name up to me some months ago, after the primaries, of course. And then … as you get a lot of names, I mean we were thinking abut a lot of different people and Sarah was in that mix. I'm very happy he chose a governor, and I couldn't be happier. In fact, when he called me and said "ok, I think I'm going to do this," I was, if I could, I would have done back flips. I'm too old, but I could have.

Couric: Do you feel confident, Mrs. McCain, that the vetting process which is getting a lot of attention was as thorough as it needed to be and that Sen. McCain knew everything he needed to know?

McCain: Well, I was right in the middle of it. I know the vetting process was thorough. I knew that was going on, so absolutely, it was. She was vetted and she was thoroughly vetted. That's, you know, it's just something that, just because the media didn't know, doesn't mean we didn't vet her (laugh).

Couric: The scuttlebutt, if you will, behind the scenes is that Sen. McCain really wanted Joe Lieberman to be his running mate, but social conservatives would have found him unacceptable because of his position on abortion.

McCain: My husband and Joe are very good friends. And, wouldn't it be nice to work with your best friend? Of course. But we had to consider other things as well. And reform being the, as you know, my husband's most important issue, and my husband felt that Gov. Palin was a better fit for that.

Couric: Some, even Republicans, seemed surprised that Sen. McCain picked a running mate who opposes abortion even in the cases of rape and incest, and believes creationism should be taught in schools. And I'm just curious, do you agree with that?

McCain: What I agree with is the fact that she is a social conservative. She is a reform-minded woman. She is someone that will … shake Washington up, which is exactly what we want to do. We differ on many issues; we differ across the board with people. We don't have to agree on every issue.

Couric: Where do you stand on abortion?

McCain: I'm pro-life. I'm on the record as being pro-life, like my husband.

Couric: So do you oppose it even in cases of rape and incest?

McCain: No.

Couric: So that's where you two differ in terms of your position on that.

McCain: Uh-huh

Couric: And do you believe Roe V. Wade should be overturned?

McCain: No. no.

Couric: No. Why not? Your husband does.

McCain: No. I don't think he does.

Couric: He believes it should be overturned. That's what he told me, and that it should go to the states.

McCain: Well, in that respect. Yes, yeah, I do. I understand what you're saying now. It's a states issue.

Couric: So, you believe it should be overturned or shouldn't be overturned.

McCain: I believe it's a states issue. That I do believe.

Couric: How do you feel about creationism? Do you think it should be taught in schools?

McCain: I think both sides should be taught in schools. I think the more children have a frame of reference and an opportunity to read and know and make better decisions and judgments when they are adults. So, I think you know I don't have any problem with education of any kind.


So there's the problem. I understand that for some people, these issues are the hot-button topics when it comes to discussing one candidate versus another. But I feel the Republican side has been drawing themselves too thin. You can't say your platform is anti-abortion, regardless of circumstance, pro-creationism (are you kidding), pro-states rights, anti-terror, pro-green energy (oh yeah?), pro-jobs, anti-taxes, pro-government and -big business accountability all at once. You're going to shoot yourself in the foot.

And at the same time, using your primary argument against your opponent as his apparent lack of political experience, and then pick someone like Palin. Really? Obama isn't ready to be president, but this whack-job ex-beauty pageant first termer is?

Political discussion and argument of ideas is one thing. But any intelligent person can see the McCain camp is really grasping at straws. If Hillary had snagged the nomination, would McCain have picked an African-American man to be his running mate? How stupid do these Republicans think their constituents are? I almost feel bad for the right (and further extrapolation, the Christian right), because they are getting embarrassed publicly by the people they started off supporting.

But now they know how we felt in 2000.

Also, I implore everyone to check out this link:

I love the political debate as much as the next person. I even love discussing freely the ideas and opinions people have regarding their personal religious beliefs. But as my friends (and wife) can FULLY attest, the one thing I cannot stand is faulty logic... Specifically, hypocrisy. Bill O'Reilly is one of the biggest nutjobs out there, and every once in a while, it's worth it to see him DIRECTLY CONTRADICT HIMSELF in the span on a few months.


In non-political news, I started school last week as an NYU student. I am officially part of the post-baccalaureate pre-health school, gearing myself up for an early application to med schools around the country.

This decision was mainly contingent on the fact that I'm now starting my own family (EMERGENCY READ HERE: KATIE IS NOT PREGNANT, I'M TALKING ABOUT HER), and I want to be able to have a foreseeable future in which I can provide for her and any cubs that we decide to have. I want her to be able to not work, if she doesn't feel like it, and not feel pressured into spending time away from her kids to help bring home the honey.

Also, it's time for me to start feeling like the decisions I make have a lasting impact on the world in general, and our society as a whole. Philosophy is fun, but will always remain as something you can do in your part time. I want to be able to come home at the end of the day and not think "Wow, I just helped Hummer make another billion dollars (through my work at Nielsen)", as well. I'd like to think I can bring my specific talents and intellect to bear (GET IT) on deeper and longer-lasting issues.
i have another blog, for those who'd like to add it.
It's not a married blog, it's a wifeblog.

the scones were SUCH a success!

also, i played with 50's hair today.
it was rather fun.

here is the outcome:

what a fun day this hss been!

also: go see wall-e. it will warm your heart and inspire your mind. mmm.
I've been so ridiculously busy with my new job that I haven't had time to do much else besides drool and stare at a buzzing tv screen once I finally get home.

It's going well- rather, every time I think I'm ready to scream, I get paid, and it all feels much more worth it.

My boss is phenomenal. She's so caring with her children and really takes great measures to make sure that I'm happy with my job and feel at home with their family.
The baby is a delight, he mostly just cuddles and sucks on a bottle. The older brother is very very high energy, which is exhausting, but with the exception of a few two-year-old antics, is relatively well-behaved. The only problem I have with him is that he does everything in hi-gear...he's IMPOSSIBLE to keep up with, especially when there's a 20 pound baby strapped to my chest. Whew.

Our routine goes a bit like this:
I arrive at 8am and dad goes back to sleep.
I give Max his breakfast in his high chair with Sesame Street on the tv to keep his attention focused in one place. Otherwise food gets thrown and feet go kicking like the blades of a propeller.
I give Micah his bottle while sitting in the armchair, and give him his baby food when he's strapped into his baby chair.
While the boys are trapped, I pack the diaper bag and eat my own breakfast.
At some point here, Cora or Caitlin arrive to take Max on an outing- the playground, the library, a class, what have you.
These ae the babysitters my boss has hired to help make my job easier and keep me from wanting to quit. They do a great job, and I adore both of them.
So they take Max, and I am free to play with Micah and straighten up after breakfast.
Sometimes I can watch a little TV if the baby falls asleep, or sometimes we take a walk to starbucks and he dozes in his stroller while I knit by the bridge.
We all meet back up at the apartment to make lunch.
More Sesame Street to prevent mishaps while Max is in his high chair.
After lunch is naptime- if I keep him awake until 12:30 or so, I can get a good 3 hours of nap time out of Max. Micah will doze here and there during this time, so it's still relatively relaxing.
After nap (around 3 or 3:30) I give Max a snack and strap both boys into their stroller for another outing. Many times is the park or a play date with another kiddo, so I have someone else to talk to.
We come back at 5 for dinner time and a bath. Mom or dad come home around 6.

And I'm free.

And exhausted.

But I really like what i do.

My boss also just told me that the family is going to be taking a few vacations this summer so I'll be getting a lot of (PAID!!!) time off, but I'll need to be flexible with them in the meantime and be willing to do some evening and weekend stuff before they leave to kind of make up some of those hours. That's fine with me, because they already told me theyd give me a two hour break in the evening to have dinner with Dan or something, and then he and I can come back to work together and watch movies after the kids fall asleep. Not a bad deal.

So that's the update.

In other news- our Michigan wedding reception was a SMASHING success. I had so much fun!! I didn't get to see Dan at all though- we were far too busy mingling with everyone. We only got to steal smooches during some pictures that people wanted to take. Other than that, I had to gaze at him longingly over 120 heads and a horseshoe pit.
I'll post some pictures soon.

I've made my foray into baking.
I baked a strawberry cream pie for our 4th of July part that turned out fantastic, and I have a batch of chocolate chip scones in the oven right now that smell delightful, as well as some katie-made devonshire cotted cream in the fridge to smear on them when they cool.

My secret to baking: clean as you go, and make sure your husband doesn't mind doing dishes. ;)
Today was my last day of work for the Criscuoli family.

We spent the afternoon at the sprinkler park and my tan approached levels i've never known possible for a pasty little dutch girl. I am so pleased!

Goodbye was awkward and hurried, but oh well. I've never been good at that.

So this weekend is my "fresh start" weekend.

When I got home I got to work cleaning.
I took out all the trash and sorted out all the recyclables, leaving them in the hallway for Dan to take down (which he did, and then mopped the hallway and made it sparkle- thanks hunbun!)

I swept and mopped the floors and bleached and scrubbed the hell out of them until they sparkled white (or ivory, because it's ivory tile). Hopefully no more animals will feel the desire to do what comes natch'erly on my clean floors, or they'll find themselves being shipped to the glue factory.

I scrubbed down the stove and the window sills and even the walls.

I cleaned out the fridge and organized all of our cabinets.

...and then I went grocery shopping and bought enough food to stock the entire kitchen. I LOVE coming home frm grocery shopping and unpacking them all into their proper places, and then standing back at how full and organized everything looks. We havent had the money to go full-on grocery shopping in a couple months, just enough to fill in the holes. But I got paid today and Dan gets paid tomorrow and I am starting a new job with a gigantic pay increase- so I went nuts and bought everything I thought we could possibly need.

Our good friends Kate and Joe moved in downstairs yesterday (Brackney and Scott, in case you know them, Quillen). I am so. excited. to. have. them. here.
Kate came grocery shopping with me, and she's downstairs making stuffed shells and garlic bread for all of us for dinner tonight because I cut her hair earlier.
Dan and Joe are at Home Depot, buyin' stuff and bein' dudely.
Kate and Joe even have 2 dogs that are Steve's new best friends.
We are couple-friends made in heaven. It's incredible.
Last night we sat on the roof and talked until midnight (wayyyy past my bedtime) whi,e watching the skyline and filling each other in on our lives and the move and city life.

This is really so terrific, and much needed for Dan and myself. I'm so happy.

Tomorrow is new hair day (YES, TOTALLY FUN), and we have a dresser getting delivered so we can finally organize the bedroom. When I get home I'm going to do that straightaway, and then work on cleaning the other rooms as thoroughly as I did the kitchen. We have a couple that Dan knows staying with us next week, and I want to demonstrate my amazing wifeliness.
Plus I dont want to have to clean again for a long time, as I'll be working my tail off with my new job.
Also, with Kate and Joe moving in, their place is all clean and organized, and I have home-envy. Dan and I will be shopping for plenty of organizational-type things this weekend so the place doesnt look quite so...overstuffed. I think cluttered homes are cozy, but I'm more one for organized chaos.

I'm really excited about this weekend.

Everyone come visit soon. I'm so damn proud of this home.
So we decided to avoid the heat by bailing on Rogue Wave, who was opening for DCFC last night at McCarren Park Pool.
We waited until around 7 to leave the apartment.
I wore my favorite skirt- it's a wrap-around patchwork india silk number that I know Alisha would borrow in a heartbeat- and a teal beater-style tank top, with my trusty comfiest flip flops. I didnt care about looking cool, I cared about staying cool. In a 100 degree+ heat wave, less is less, and that is more.
We met up with our pal and a girl he had met at a bar the night before. She was very sweet, but very...young seeming. It was a little weird, but thankfully we only had to socialize for a few minutes before Death Cab showed up on stage.

For those of who who haven't been to McCarren, it's a pretty great venue. It used to be a huge community pool like back in the 70's and it's about the size of a football field. Now it's empty, and a few nights a week they fill it with people for these awesome summer concerts. Last year, Dan and I saw the Beastie Boys play for their first ever Brooklyn show. It was so sweet.
Anyway, I was geared up for something huge: my first Death Cab experience. I was expecting to be physically and emotionally...transformed, I guess.

So they started, and the sound was all off. It all felt like we were wearing earplugs. The bass was way up and the treble was way down, and you couldnt hear any of Gibbard's guitar. His voice was tinny and weak. This makes it tricky to get into the groove. After a song or two (lots of new stuff, which I'm not totally entranced by), they started getting the sound levels right, but something was still missing.
Gibbard sounded really weak, still, and he kept coughing. He wasn't hoarse at all, there was just no power behind his voice. He was making a valiant effort to keep his enrgy level up, but I was still waiting to be grabbed. Also, his guitars were all out of tune and the sound would come in and out. SKFHAD;SGH;D
Finally, about 45 minutes into the set and after 3 or 4 guitar exchanges, he screamed "FUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK" (not into the mic) and pitched his guitar to the sound guy backstage, then grabbed his mic from the stand. He went apeshit. He jumped into the crowd, he danced around, he totally let loose. That's when my heart soared out of my ribcage and went to rest at his feet. He was amazing. He was on, he was alive, he was beautiful.

And then his mic went out.
While waiting for the sound guys to fix THAT, he bounced around and greeted fans and danced on stage with Chris Walla.
Also, the bass player (name?) was amazing to watch. Dan mentioned that he used to hide in the back and just do the bass groove thing, but he was SO INTO IT. He was my fave to watch. I could feel every bass line in my fingertips. I loved it.

So the mic turned back on, and the night progressed ever upward.
I was lost, I was in love.
I kept thinking, this is my life.
This is my husband.
These are my friends.
This is my city.
This is it, this is it.

The little tendrils of hair that escape my pony tail and usually rest on my neck were lifted in the wind and tickling my face. The air was moving in such a way that I felt weightless, that if I moved just so I might be swept up in it and float around as if in a dream ...my skirt was swirling around my knees, I could feel the night air on my eyelids and my scalp and between my fingers. It was fluid. I can't even explain it. The purple sky, the brillant flashes of lightning miles behind us, the music, the heartbeats...
It was magical.

We were electric.

And then the wind changed, and brought with it stinging dirt and leaves and twigs. Suddenly the gusts were cold as ice, and traveling with all the speed and strength of a barreling semi truck. The lights above the band were swaying precariously, violently. The banner at the back of the stage billowed out like a sail and looked as though they might tear at any moment.
They wrapped up "Sound of Settling", thanked us, and ran.
The park directors asked us urgently to get home as soon as possible.

The sky was no longer a brilliant violet fading into a soft lavender- it was the angry purple and gray of a painful bruise. The wind was swirling and stinging, the trees were bent low to the ground.
We left as quickly as possible, but not before a beer tent released itself from its holds and nearly came hurtling through the air at us. I felt Dan throw himself over me, and force me into crouching position with him arching protectively above me. People screamed and shouted and raced to the exit.

We figured we had time to get to the train before the rain came.
Wrong. And the rain, like the wind, was merciless. It came in fat, stinging drops that felt like exploding water balloons on our bare skin. Slowly and painfully at first, then faster, and sideways. We watched it move in circles and waves on the cross streets. People clustered on stoops and under awnings- but some of us pushed through. Wet is wet, so we kept walking. My drenched silk skirt was flapping in the wind and whipping my legs, my tank was plastered to my stomach and ice cold. Water fell in rivulets down my face and in my eyes. I tucked my glasses into my bra for lack of pockets, and we ran.

About 5 blocks later, I no longer felt my glasses.
I yelled for Dan, and we turned back. Nearly blind and with raindrops careening into my eyes, I walked slowly back up the sidewalks, scanning the ground for a darkish blur or a shining reflection...nothing.
I'm crying, but the tears get lost among the raindrops.
I can't see. I can't see a thing.

Dan catches up with me, and he stops and swipes his foot through every ocean-sized puddle in every gutter. I stoop to peek at every glittering surface. Dan keeps telling me "It's just broken glass, honey." But I'm blind and crying and I can't tell the difference between a beer bottle and my glasses.
The rain slows, and we're just left with chilly night air and water dripping from every surface. I watch water run in rivers towards sewers, feeling my spirits get pulled in with all the debrit.

I walk ahead to ask people if they've passed any glasses on the sidewalk, and I hear Dan yell my name from a block behind me.
I can only make out his silhouette. He looks like a soldier coming back from the war.
He's holding my glasses in the air, and his shoes in his hand. They had been in a gutter, in a puddle of gray water.
I hug him so tight and kiss his wet beard and tell him he's my hero.

And we walk home barefoot and wet in Brooklyn, holding hands.
I posted pictures of phase one of going blonde on my myspace:


saturday is phase 2- i have an appointment with Antonia at Arrojo Studio (should sound familiar to those What Not To Wear fans!). I'll post more pictures afterwards!

also, you can see how gigantic my puppy has gotten in the last 5 months. It's unbelievable.

tonight is my first ever death cab concert.
its going to be 106 degrees out.
and i don't mind a bit. i will enjoy it with all of my body, including my....
(i miss my spring arbor pals. sigh.)

last night it was so hot in our bedroom that dan and i slept in our skivvs with our heads at the foot of the bed to be closer to the fan.
i use the term "slept" loosely- it was more of a light doze, drifting in and out of heat-induced nightmares.
dan awoke me mid-doze and asked me to switch spots with him, because every time he closed his eyes he pictured a man in a mask hiding in our office (on his side of the bed) and he couldn't fall asleep because he was scared- errr, uneasy, we'll say.
so he threw me to the wolves and made me sleep on the dangerous side. thanks, honey. i always said i wanted to die first, but i didn't mean at 23. sheesh.
just kidding, it was all very precious and i wasn't scared a bit. though i did get up and make sure the door to the hallway was locked, haha.

kate brackney and jow from CANADA move into the apartment below us today.
this is going to be so great.

also, our kitty cat might be preggers, as dan mentioned in his post.
i'll keep you posted.
So my wife is super hot.

Also, this is the kind of thing that happens every day at work:

And my puppy is pretty great looking and getting better behaved by the day, my lesbian cat is finally calming down (and may be pregnant, IRONY), my apartment is awesome and two beautiful and friendly friends from Michigan are moving in downstairs, the Wings got the cup, Obama got the nomination, I'm thinking about applying at med school, our reception is in a few weeks, we're going on a cruise, my friends are all talented and happy as well.


1. I'm dying my hair.
.....very very blonde.

I'm trying to safely go from very very very dark red (almost black) with fire engine red streaks to icy platinum blonde, like this:

I bought a product called One n' Only Colorfix, and used it to remove as much of the permanent haircolor as possible.
I'm currently at a pretty hilarious shade of strawberry blonde, but it is unbelievable light, considering I haven't even touched it with bleach yet.
I'm letting it rest tonight, and then attempting bleaching #1 tomorrow. It may take two tries, but my hair has always taken to lighteners really well. Dan even promised to help me apply it. What a fab husband.

I'll post pictures when I'm done!

2. I start my new job in a week and a half. So I got some new shoes, because I'l be walking alllllll over the city! We're going to take long walks with the stroller, lay on the playgrounds, go to central park and the zoo and all sorts of fun places- and my chucks are about to die so I needed somthing a little more functional.
I got these:
and these:

3. Dan may be going to med school. This is kind of huge and amazing. He's in th process of gathering info from a few different schools, mostly in Chicago and in West Virginia. We're really excited about this idea. We'll keep you posted!

4. There are more updates but I'm tired so I'll fill you in tomorrow.
Three high school seniors have been barred from Bloomington Kennedy High School's graduation ceremony tonight at Target Center because of a prank involving Confederate flags.

Rick Kaufman, a spokesman for the Bloomington School District, said three male students brought the flags onto school property Tuesday morning. He said they were "carrying and waving" the flags in the parking lot as parents dropped students off for class.

Principal Ron Simmons spoke with the boys shortly after the incident and suspended them for three days. Superintendent Les Fujitake affirmed Simmons' decision Tuesday evening despite objections from the boys' parents and other students. School officials declined to release the students' names, citing student privacy policies.

"The Confederate flag is an issue we take seriously regardless of their intent," Kaufman said.

Today, between 25 and 30 Kennedy students staged a protest near the school. Kaufman said several students wore white T-shirts with the three students' names and chanted "let them walk."

Kennedy seniors were on campus this morning for a graduation ceremony rehearsal. School officials asked the protesters to remove the T-shirts before they entered the rehearsal. Kaufman said students complied with the request.

"This doesn't mean they [the three males] won't get their diploma. They've earned that. But graduation is a privilege, not a right," he said.

Bloomington's conduct policies ban students from any school-sponsored activities including graduation during a suspension. Kennedy's student body is made up of more than 40 percent minority students, according to the state Department of Education.

Kaufman said it's unfortunate that the boys' decision resulted in their exclusion from the graduation ceremony, but the ban isn't new.
"We believe and have communicated with students that the Confederate flag represents hatred, bigotry, intolerance, slavery, civil rights issues and discrimination," he said. Kennedy students know they're not allowed to have a Confederate flag on school property because it may violate the district's anti-discrimination rules, he said.


And don't pull the "Free Speech" card on this situation, like so many inbred and (hatefully) ignorant people are attempting to do. In our society, there is no plausibility to saying you are ignorant of the resounding symbolism of the Confederate flag. It stands for hatred, bigotry, intolerance and racism. Which, consequentially, ARE long-standing traditions in the South.

Touting confederate flag, a burning cross, a Nazi armband, a noose, or a white hood are all synonymous in the US. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, from the South or North, or actually harbor any malicious intent. Factor in the reality that 40% of the student body are minorities, and the Seniors were waving the flag with intent and purpose, and you get a deserved sentence.

A Senior with a Confederate flag sticker on the back of their car may just be an ignorant or covertly racist moron. To bring it to school and wave it around, shortly before graduation, is a level of stupidity on par with believing in those ideals or thinking the flag itself stands for anything to be proud of.

It would be easy to think of Scott McClellan's new book as a piece of dish, designed for sales, pitched for controversy, packed with juicy detail. And it is that, of course. But it is also something more. It is an argument by a man very, very close to the president, and deputed to be his spokesman for many years, that the president deliberately deceived the country about the reasons for going to war. We're not talking mistakes here; we're talking about a deliberate shading of the truth to hide the real motivation for risking the lives of thousands of soldiers and hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians:

In Iraq, McClellan added,Bush saw "his opportunity to create a legacy of greatness," something McClellan said Bush has said he believes is only available to wartime presidents.

The president's real motivation for the war, he said, was to transform the Middle East to ensure an enduring peace in the region. But the White House effort to sell the war as necessary due to the stated threat posed by Saddam Hussein was needed because "Bush and his advisers knew that the American people would almost certainly not support a war launched primarily for the ambitions purpose of transforming the Middle East," McClellan wrote.

"Rather than open this Pandora's Box, the administration chose a different path — not employing out-and-out deception, but shading the truth," he wrote of the effort to convince the world that Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, an effort he said used "innuendo and implication" and "intentional ignoring of intelligence to the contrary."

"President Bush managed the crisis in a way that almost guaranteed that the use of force would become the only feasible option," McClellan concluded, noting, "The lack of candor underlying the campaign for war would severely undermine the president's entire second term in office."

If this is true, if the president intentionally ignored data refuting the existence of Saddam's WMDs, he should be impeached.


It was chaos in the Hamptons as cops crashed an A-list Memorial Day weekend gala, dragging the owner of a tony art gallery to jail for serving drinks without a license.

Longtime gallery owner and East Hampton fixture Ruth Vered was hauled off in handcuffs after she refused to stop serving drinks Saturday evening - and then balked at cops' orders to follow them.

"People were screaming, 'Leave her alone,'" Vered told the Daily News Sunday. "It's disgraceful."

She dismissed the East End cops as big-muscled toughs with too much time on their hands.

"I told them I've been doing this since before they were born," fumed Vered, 67. "They have some nerve."

She was taken away from the wine-and-cheese shindig in front of her granddaughter and the 200 elbow-rubbing fashionistas and socialites gathered at Vered Gallery for the opening of an exhibit by celebrity photographer Steven Klein.

East Hampton Mayor Paul Rickenbach said cops were just enforcing state alcohol rules.

"It's standard operating procedure for the police," Rickenbach said. "It's not something that's new and out of the blue at all."

The beach town brouhaha began as bold-face names like leggy blond Kelly Killoren Bensimon and Kelly Klein, Calvin Klein's ex-wife, sipped white wine and cocktails while they scanned the sexy shots.

The exhibit includes photos of Madonna, Justin Timberlake, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There were also Polaroids of gay men in various sexual poses.

Just before 8 p.m., two police officers arrived and told Vered to stop serving drinks. When she refused, they told her she would have to come with them to the police station.

"I said I'm not going anywhere," said Vered, who recalled telling them she would only discuss the issue with a higher-ranking police official.

"There were about eight of them with big muscles."

Moments later, up to nine police cars and more than a dozen officers descended on the gallery and arrested Vered. Then they carted out crates of fancy Champagne, wine and Grey Goose vodka.

Vered was identified by cops as Ruth Kalb, but she told The News she prefers using only a single name, Vered.

She blasted the small-town cops for having too little work.

"They really have nothing to do so they pick on me - it's harassment," she said. "You'd think someone was murdered."

Gallery customers said the police response was totally out of proportion to any problem caused by the reception.

"There were about nine cops there for one woman," said Lou Contino of Huntington, L.I. "It seemed like a gross overreaction."

Vered was fingerprinted, photographed and handcuffed to a bench for more than two hours at the East Hampton Village police station before being given a summons for serving liquor without a license. She has a June 25 court date.

Cops didn't return calls for comment.

But the mayor insisted they did everything by the book.

"It's unfortunate the atmosphere was the way it was, but the police operated in a professional manner," Rickenbach said.

Cops also shut down a reception at the neighboring Walk Tall Gallery.

Witnesses said cops confiscated bottles of wine as a woman who worked at Walk Tall began to shake and cry in fear when she was handed a summons.

"It was like a drug bust," said Wendy Wachtel, owner of Walk Tall.

Artsy types said it's going to be a long hot summer in the Hamptons if the cops decide to crack the whip on wine-and-cheese parties.

"This is a dog-and-pony show," said Jim Hayden of the East Hampton Artist Alliance. "It's outrageous."


Gallery owner Ruth Vered is cuffed and put into an East Hampton police car.
I wish BedStuy had Taco Bell.
Though I have to admit, I don't know that I'd ever eat Brooklyn fast food. Sigh.

Tonight I had a surprise dinner waiting for Dan when he got home.
I made burgers (veg for him) and corn on the cob and veggie baked beans and spiked lemonade! I also bought a big bag of kettle cooked bbq chips..mmmm.
AND i had fresh baked chocolate chip cookies hiding in the oven for afterwards.

I'm really doing well with this whole wife thing, I think.

Clean house, good dinner, letting him watch the pistons games....

He's taking the dog for a walk right now, so I'm watching American Idol.
David Cook is totally my new celebrity crush...shhhh...
but I think David Archuleta is going to win. I honestly would be thrilled either way: they both deserve it so much! And I'd hands down buy either one's album. Don't tell any of my friends...I'll lose all my indie Brooklyn cred. Ha.
This is the first year I've ever paid attention to the show, but I got so HOOKED. Man.
But I wish they'd just ditch all this time-filling nonsense and just announce the winner already.

I spent all afternoon beefing up our registries (Target and Bed, Bath, & Beyond, if you're curious.) because I realized that I had far less items on the registry than guests invited to the reception.

OH: My friend Allison made our invitations for us...and they are breathtaking.
This is the outside:
This is the inside:
I cannot wait to see them all printed up. My mom is printing them out at work and shipping them to me to address and stuff.
Dan's mom has purchased our centerpieces, picnic tables, and most of the decorating components, secured the park and the caterer, and is about to order the plates and napkins i wanted so badly. She's been amazing about all of this...I'm so grateful.

Man, i'm finally getting back into the habit of this blog thing!
So on Saturday, after I came home from my last day at the salon (which I ended up not having to work), I cleaned the HECK out of our apartment.
Uusually I just do a surface clean, or a "straightening up", and somehow it's messy again an hour later. This is infuriating to me.
But we got our new tv delivered- a 42" flat screen HDTV...and it is a beauty, let me tell you- and I wanted our house to look like it deserved such a luxury.
So I dusted and swept and windexed and organized and rearranged and made our home look better than it has since we moved in in November. We also bought some more candles and placed them all over the living room, and opened all the windows so it spells like fresh spring air instead of puppy breath and sleep.
I am so happy with how clean it is- and here's the best part: IT'S STILL CLEAN.
Dan and I have made been making a conscious effort to put our shoes in the hall closet and our laundry in the hamper and wash every dish when we use it and not let any clutter even hit the coffee table or the end tables. And it has been so easy, and the house still looks fabulous. 4 days and counting, haha...
Erin- you know how big of a deal this is for me, as you had to live with me and my absurd messiness.

Tonight I have to dust and sweep again just to keep ahead of the game, and we really need to do laundry. I usually don't mind doing laundry, but I'm so sick of dragging all of our clothes down 3 flights of stairs and then 3 blocks to the laundromat to wait for a big enough machine, blah blah blah. I just like the smell of clean laundry when I'm folding it.

I woke up in the middle of the night because Dan had been sleeping fitfully, thanks to our witch of a kitten running laps around the bedroom at 2am. This means across our faces and over our legs and onto the dresser and up on the window sill, etc. When he got up to lock her in the bathroom, she got away from him and took off into the living room, where she ran on the walls practically, knocking everything over (INCLUDING dan's macbook!) in her wake. I have never seen such an angry bear of a husband. Whoa. He was yelling and cursing at her and trying to catch her, and she put up such a fight when he finally did. I was afraid she was going to lose her tail, or he an eye.
Of course, the dog woke up because of the commotion, and WOULD NOT go back to sleep. He kept stirring at the foot of the bed and pacing around and stepping on us and chewing the blankets...and Dan was already furious with not being able to sleep, so he kept sitting up to yell at the dog to go to sleep, which wasn't working (obviously, because dogs dont understand english). We finally had to put the pup in his cage for the night...but then he couldnt stop fidgeting and his nails were skittering all over the plastic floor, and I could feel Dan's heartbeat racing against my back, and he was actually letting out a low growl. My house is full of animals.
So Steve finally falls asleep..and of course the FERRETS start to chime in by scratching on their water bottle and rattling the cage. By now it's like 4am. I'm exhausted and emotional, and Dan is infuriated and so weary, and we're both just desperate to fall back asleep.
Somehow we do.

And then I wake up. Again.

Dan and I always sleep on our right sides, with him as the big spoon and me as the little. His right arm extends out and fits perfectly under the crook of my neck, and i hold that hand with my left. Cute, yeah.
But I never knew how deadly...until last night.
I don't know WHAT he was dreaming about, but I woke up with stars in my eyes because he had suddenly jerked his right arm towards him and held it there, almost snapping my neck and cutting off oxygen flow to my brain. I seriously had pinpricks in the backs of my eyes from the speed at which he had put me in this headlock. I woke up and gurgled something like "GAH! ACK! OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!" and he didn't move. I couldn't get him to let go. Finally I elbowed him in the side and he sort of rolled over.


So my husband dreams of strangling me.
Guess he doesn't like cleaning as much as I thought.
Dan and I booked our Honeymoon, finally!

We leave September 28th from Tampa for a 7 Night Western Caribbean Cruise with Carnival cruiselines, on a ship called the Legend.
We'll get to see Grand Cayman, Cozumel, Belize, and Honduras!

Our best couple-friends, Scott and Terra, are coming with, too.
I know it's unconventional, but so are we.
And this way I have someone to lay out with and get spa treatments with, and Dan has someone to gamble with. Ha.

Anyway, I did a little cruise shopping this weekend at Target.
I got two bathing suits:
(though I'm not crazy about these bottoms. They had plain red ones that tie on the side- I may go exchange them for those ones.)
and a new dress!
I've already cheated and worn this. But I tied a metallic gold sash around the waist and wore it with teal flats and skinny jeans, and scored myself a new job!
I decided to quit the salon because I was so exhausted from working 11 hour days there with barely any pay. The owner was temperamental and unprofessional- and didn't pay hsi stylists for haircuts?? What the heck.
So I (hopefully) got a new job as a nanny (again), starting June 16th.
I'll be making 600 more a month than I do now, which will be a huge stress relief...plus I'll be getting 2 weeks paid vacation and a Christmas bonus...oooo!
I got along so well with the mom, whose name is Anna. She and I mostly just chatted during my 2 hour interview.
She has two little boys: Max, age 2- who is a SPITFIRE! and will keep me quite busy; and Micah, who is only 6 months old. He was so quiet and precious, he just slept in my arms the whole time...and when he was awake, he was smiling every moment.
She kept telling me how hip and fun I was, and that I'm going to be an astonishing mother someday (to which I BEAMED!...but it won't be anytime soon).
She lives on the Upper East Side, so I'd have millions of places to take the boys during the day, and I'll be able to get lots of sun and exercise this summer!

Let's keep our fingers crossed, shall we?

Also: I'm going back to school. More details on that to come...but I know I'll be studying elementary education. The application process commences this month. Gulp. And let's home that FAFSA I submitted comes back with only the best news, ha.
From the Associated Press:

The California Supreme Court has overturned a gay marriage ban in a ruling that would make the nation's largest state the second one to allow gay and lesbian weddings.

The justices' 4-3 decision Thursday says domestic partnerships are not a good enough substitute for marriage. Chief Justice Ron George wrote the opinion.

The city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples and gay rights groups sued in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march.

The case before the court involved a series of lawsuits seeking to overturn a voter-approved law that defines marriage as a union between a man and a woman.

With the ruling, California could become the second state after Massachusetts where gay and lesbian residents can marry.

"What happens in California, either way, will have a huge impact around the nation. It will set the tone," said Geoffrey Kors, executive director of the gay rights group Equality California.

California already offers same-sex couples who register as domestic partners the same legal rights and responsibilities as married spouses, including the right to divorce and to sue for child support. It's therefore unclear what additional relief state lawmakers could offer short of marriage if the court renders the existing ban unconstitutional.

A coalition of religious and social conservative groups is attempting to put a measure on the November ballot that would enshrine California's current laws banning gay marriage in the state constitution.

The Secretary of State is expected to rule by the end of June whether the sponsors gathered enough signature to qualify the marriage amendment, similar to ones enacted in 26 other states.

The cases before the California court were brought by the city of San Francisco, two dozen gay and lesbian couples, Equality California and another gay rights group in March 2004 after the court halted San Francisco's monthlong same-sex wedding march that took place at Mayor Gavin Newsom's direction.
So the following is a conversation held within the Spanish department at my work.

Exxxx Bxxxx says:
Ok this is my history for today... Yesterday I went to the bank and the employee was a brazilian guy, and I speak Portuguese, so I started to speak in portuguese with him and he congratulate me for my good spoke
Dxxxx Hxxxx says:
that's an awful story
Dxxxx Hxxxx says:
add something
Dan Erck says:

Senator Hillary Clinton talks to the press on her campaign plane leaving Minneapolis for Weschester to vote in the Super Tuesday Primary .

For all her talk about "full speed on to the White House," there was an unmistakably elegiac tone to Hillary Clinton's primary-night speech in Indianapolis. And if one needed further confirmation that the undaunted, never-say-die Clintons realize their bid might be at an end, all it took was a look at the wistful faces of the husband and the daughter who stood behind the candidate as she talked of all the people she has met in a journey "that has been a blessing for me."

It was also a journey she had begun with what appeared to be insurmountable advantages, which evaporated one by one as the campaign dragged on far longer than anyone could have anticipated. She made at least five big mistakes, each of which compounded the others:

1. She misjudged the mood
That was probably her biggest blunder. In a cycle that has been all about change, Clinton chose an incumbent's strategy, running on experience, preparedness, inevitability — and the power of the strongest brand name in Democratic politics. It made sense, given who she is and the additional doubts that some voters might have about making a woman Commander in Chief. But in putting her focus on positioning herself to win the general election in November, Clinton completely misread the mood of Democratic-primary voters, who were desperate to turn the page. "Being the consummate Washington insider is not where you want to be in a year when people want change," says Barack Obama's chief strategist, David Axelrod. Clinton's "initial strategic positioning was wrong and kind of played into our hands." But other miscalculations made it worse:

2. She didn't master the rules
Clinton picked people for her team primarily for their loyalty to her, instead of their mastery of the game. That became abundantly clear in a strategy session last year, according to two people who were there. As aides looked over the campaign calendar, chief strategist Mark Penn confidently predicted that an early win in California would put her over the top because she would pick up all the state's 370 delegates. It sounded smart, but as every high school civics student now knows, Penn was wrong: Democrats, unlike the Republicans, apportion their delegates according to vote totals, rather than allowing any state to award them winner-take-all. Sitting nearby, veteran Democratic insider Harold M. Ickes, who had helped write those rules, was horrified — and let Penn know it. "How can it possibly be," Ickes asked, "that the much vaunted chief strategist doesn't understand proportional allocation?" And yet the strategy remained the same, with the campaign making its bet on big-state victories. Even now, it can seem as if they don't get it. Both Bill and Hillary have noted plaintively that if Democrats had the same winner-take-all rules as Republicans, she'd be the nominee. Meanwhile, the Clinton campaign now acknowledges privately:

3. She underestimated the caucus states

While Clinton based her strategy on the big contests, she seemed to virtually overlook states like Minnesota, Nebraska and Kansas, which choose their delegates through caucuses. She had a reason: the Clintons decided, says an adviser, that "caucus states were not really their thing." Her core supporters — women, the elderly, those with blue-collar jobs — were less likely to be able to commit an evening of the week, as the process requires. But it was a little like unilateral disarmament in states worth 12% of the pledged delegates. Indeed, it was in the caucus states that Obama piled up his lead among pledged delegates. "For all the talent and the money they had over there," says Axelrod, "they — bewilderingly — seemed to have little understanding for the caucuses and how important they would become."

By the time Clinton's lieutenants realized the grave nature of their error, they lacked the resources to do anything about it — in part because:

4. She relied on old money

For a decade or more, the Clintons set the standard for political fund-raising in the Democratic Party, and nearly all Bill's old donors had re-upped for Hillary's bid. Her 2006 Senate campaign had raised an astonishing $51.6 million against token opposition, in what everyone assumed was merely a dry run for a far bigger contest. But something had happened to fund-raising that Team Clinton didn't fully grasp: the Internet. Though Clinton's totals from working the shrimp-cocktail circuit remained impressive by every historic measure, her donors were typically big-check writers. And once they had ponied up the $2,300 allowed by law, they were forbidden to give more. The once bottomless Clinton well was drying up.

Obama relied instead on a different model: the 800,000-plus people who had signed up on his website and could continue sending money his way $5, $10 and $50 at a time. (The campaign has raised more than $100 million online, better than half its total.) Meanwhile, the Clintons were forced to tap the $100 million — plus fortune they had acquired since he left the White House — first for $5 million in January to make it to Super Tuesday and then $6.4 million to get her through Indiana and North Carolina. And that reflects one final mistake:

5. She never counted on a long haul
Clinton's strategy had been premised on delivering a knockout blow early. If she could win Iowa, she believed, the race would be over. Clinton spent lavishly there yet finished a disappointing third. What surprised the Obama forces was how long it took her campaign to retool. She fought him to a tie in the Feb. 5 Super Tuesday contests but didn't have any troops in place for the states that followed. Obama, on the other hand, was a train running hard on two or three tracks. Whatever the Chicago headquarters was unveiling to win immediate contests, it always had a separate operation setting up organizations in the states that were next. As far back as Feb. 21, Obama campaign manager David Plouffe was spotted in Raleigh, N.C. He told the News & Observer that the state's primary, then more than 10 weeks away, "could end up being very important in the nomination fight." At the time, the idea seemed laughable.

Now, of course, the question seems not whether Clinton will exit the race but when. She continues to load her schedule with campaign stops, even as calls for her to concede grow louder. But the voice she is listening to now is the one inside her head, explains a longtime aide. Clinton's calculation is as much about history as it is about politics. As the first woman to have come this far, Clinton has told those close to her, she wants people who invested their hopes in her to see that she has given it her best. And then? As she said in Indianapolis, "No matter what happens, I will work for the nominee of the Democratic Party because we must win in November." When the task at hand is healing divisions in the Democratic Party, the loser can have as much influence as the winner.


And this, from Reddit:

"Hillary Clinton: The Psycho Ex-Girlfriend of the Democratic Party

Despite all the math counting her out, Hillary Clinton fervently remains in the race to become the Democratic nominee for president in 2008. She has become the Democratic Party's psycho ex-girlfriend, and she's not going away without a restraining order.

It's 2:31 AM. The Democratic Party is sleeping peacefully when it hears its phone buzz on the night stand. It rolls over and sees "Hillary" on the caller ID. It pauses briefly, considering pushing "END" and not dealing with this shit tonight. The thought is appealing but the Democratic Party knows that if it doesn't take this call, another one is only minutes away.

DEMS: ...Hello?

Hillary: Hey baby.

DEMS: C'mon Hillary. Enough with this.

Hillary: Don't you get it? You NEED me.

DEMS: No, I don't. It was fun while it lasted but I'm with Barack now. I made my choice, it's done.

Hillary: You can't really mean that. How can you say that after all the good times we had?

DEMS: To be honest, I started hanging out with you because Bill's pretty awesome.

Hillary: But I'm just like Bill!

DEMS: No, you're not. Bill is charismatic, inspiring, and gets me really good weed.

Hillary: F*** you. You're elitist!

DEMS: I'm going back to sleep.

Hillary: No, no, wait. I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Listen... there's still got to be a chance. Remember when people told George W it was all over. When the numbers were against him?

DEMS: Yeah but...

Hillary: Remember?! And remember how everyone said America didn't really want to be with George W? But they stuck it out anyway?

DEMS: Yeah and they're really f***ed up now, Hillary.

Hillary: But WE'LL make it work. Forget Barack, baby. Just take me back and we can forget this ever happened.

DEMS: Look, I think you're a really good Senator... let's just keep it that way, OK?

Hillary: ...I'll see you at the convention.

DEMS: No! Hillary I told you...


DEMS: Dammit. Crazy b****."


Also, i'm super pumped about the country bear jamboree. This is what it's going to look like.


this is the inspiration board for our wedding reception in Michigan, which will be on June 28th!

more details to come. :)
So "My Fox DC" posted an article this morning about a Judge who is suing the Office of Administrative Hearings for $1 million and his job back. The wacky part of the story is, this is the same judge who sued a dry cleaners for $54 million when they lost a pair of his pants. The story is one short click away .

What gets me, though, in the midst of all of this "wacky sue crazy American" bullcrap, is how terribly this Fox News website has edited their story. I had to re-read it a few times to understand what was actually going on, and even at this point it was so convoluted and poorly constructed I had to go to another news source to see exactly HOW the two lawsuits were (if at all) related. You'd think one of the most powerful news conglomerates could afford to hire competent editors (even if it was just a local affiliate. A DC affiliate, no less!!!)

"WASHINGTON (AP) -- A former judge who lost a $54 million law suit against a dry cleaners over a missing pair of pants is suing to get his job back and at least $1 million in damages.

In the suit filed in federal court, Roy Pearson he was wrongfully dismissed for exposing corruption within the Office of Administrative Hearings, the department where he worked. In court
documents, Pearson said he was protected as a whistle-blower and that the city used the fact that he was being "vilified in the media" to cut him out of his job.

In a response to a Freedom of Information Act request from The Associated Press, the city's general counsel wrote that Pearson's term as an administrative law judge expired in May 2007, and the D.C. Commission on Selection and Tenure of Administrative Law Judges voted not to reappoint him.

Pearson's lawsuit in D.C. Superior Court claimed Custom Cleaners did not live up to Pearson's expectations of "Satisfaction Guaranteed," as advertised in store windows. Initially, Pearson calculated his losses at $67 million but lowered his request to $54 million."


The second story is about fat monkeys.

Fat Monkeys who live behind THIS LINK

So katie and I just purchased a 42" HD TV for a fourth of what it's retailed at. And last night I bought Grand Theft Auto IV!!!




Also, today I was talking to one of my Spanish co-conspirators (workers) at the job, and had this interesting clip:

"Exxx Bxxx says:
sorry but we only wanna live the AMERICAN DREAM
Dan Erck says:

Man, if IT or our bosses are actually reading these conversations, I'm gonna be fired in a heartbeat.
Katie and I saw Chris Bathgate play at the knitting factory on Monday.

The following is the really poor amateur footage I took of the event. Go watch it on youtube!

Outright thievery from Holy Taco, but I thought it was an interesting list:

irish car bomb manliest cocktails
11. Irish Car Bomb

Why is it manly?: What’s manlier than going mano-a-beero with a pint of the world’s thickest stout mixed with a shot of whiskey? Knowing that if you don’t chug it fast enough, you’ll be downing chunks of curdled Bailey’s cream.
3/4 pint Guinness stout
1/2 shot Bailey’s Irish cream
1/2 shot Jameson Irish whiskey

moonshine manliest cocktail
10. Kentucky Tea
Why is it manly:? You can get shot in the face by an Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms federal agent just for making this cocktail.
1 mason jar halfway full of moonshine
Fill the jar with branch water
rusty nail manliest cocktails
9. Rusty Nail
Why is it manly?: I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but there’s something oddly macho about asking your girlfriend if she would like to sip on your Rusty Nail.

¾ oz. scotch
¼ oz. Drambuie

manliest cocktails snake bite
8. Snake Bite
Why is it manly?: Anytime a drink is compared to a snake sinking its fangs into you and depositing venom in your bloodstream, chances are, it’s probably pretty stiff. Basically it’s straight up Yukon Jack, which has been known to make balls hairy. The only reason there’s a dash of lime juice is so you won’t get scurvy.

2 oz Yukon Jack liqueur
1 dash Lime juice
jagerade manliest cocktails
7. Jagerade
Why is it manly?: To be honest, I don’t know if this is manly or just gross. Either way, a man can never get enough electrolytes.
8 oz chilled Gatorade energy drink

4 oz Jagermeister herbal liqueur
gin and juice manliest cocktails
6. Gin and Juice
Why is it manly?: Snoop Dogg likes to drink this when there are bitches in his living room gettin’ it on until six o’clock in the morning, so that has to be worth something. Gin and juice was also the morning cocktail of soldiers and officers in WWII. That’s right, this is what you drank right before you killed a bunch of Nazis. You can’t say that about Malibu and pineapple.
2 1/2 ounces Gin.

1 oz. orange juice.
Equal parts mind on your money and money on your mind
nuclear waste keith richards manliest cocktails
5. Nuclear Waste
Why is it manly?: This is the only thing Keith Richards drinks now. According to the man himself, “”Whiskey wasn’t agreeing with me anymore. The old body couldn’t take it. Brandy is a killer, and wine is best with food, so somehow I settled on this. Plenty of ice. Lovely.” If it’s good enough for Mr. Richards, it’s good enough for this list.

2 oz. premium vodka
1 oz. Sunkist or any orange soda
Plenty of ice
tequila sunrise manliest cocktails
4. Tequila Sunrise
Why is it manly?:First off, it’s a breakfast cocktail. And secondly, “2 measures tequila” is short for, “as much tequila as your glass will hold.” It may look a little fruity but it’s about as tropical as a back alley in Tijuana.

2 measures Tequila
Orange juice
2 dashes Grenadine
sazerac manliest cocktails
3. The Original Sazerac
What makes it manly?: This cocktail takes the classic New Orleans recipe and adds—what else—a nice, healthy addition of Absinthe. Because if huffing rye whiskey doesn’t make you a man, mixing it with mythical psychadelic liquor that tastes like cough syrup will make sure everyone knows you have a penis.

1 tsp Sugar
1-1/2 oz Rye whiskey
1 Dash Herbsaint, Pernod or Absinthe (to coat the glass)
2 dashes Peychaud bitters
2 dashes Angostura bitters
1 Lemon peel twist
martini manliest drinks cocktails
2. Martini

Why is it manly?: Well, it’s pretty much straight alcohol, with just enough vermouth to remind you that you’re not drinking disinfectant. Plus, James Bond drinks it, and he bangs lots of chicks and beats the crap out of dudes with names that describe a hideous disfigurement they have that also provides them with some sort of physical superiority.
2 1/2 oz Gin
1 1/2 tsp Dry Vermouth
1 Olive
manhattan manly drinks
1. Manhattan:

Why is it manly: You may say “it’s got a cherry, nothing with a cherry is manly.” Well, nibble on this: It’s notorious for being the favorite drink of the Italian Mafia, who are notorious for killing people. I’m not saying killing somebody makes you a man, but it’s probably not the best idea to call someone who just threw someone off a bridge a “cherry drinking pansy.”
*3/4 oz Sweet Vermouth
2 1/2 oz Rye whiskey

dash Angostura bitter
1 Maraschino cherry
So katie thinks I can only write posts about science or politics or religion. But in a constant effort to prove to my blushing bride how versatile and multi-faceted her bearsband is, I bring you a quick one-act diatribe about Detroit sports.

The actors:

Kevin Hatton, a brusque but well-meaning Cubs fan, who is deathly diabetic and likes to poke fun.
Dan, a die-hard and caustic Tigers fan, who is quickly prodded to rage, and a stickler for correct grammar.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008.
4:45 PM

Kevin: So how come the tiger's blow chunks?

Dan: 1) No apostrophe

Kevin: hahaha
but seriously, how come the tigers blow chunks?

me: F*** you, Hatton.

Kevin: it's a simple question
weren't they supposed to go all the way this year?

me: F*** you hatton.

Kevin: i don't know why you're mad at me, I'm not Detroit's s****y baseball team

me: F*** YOU HATTON.


And, scene.
So katie's the best hairdresser on the planet, and I'm ridiculously proud of her working at this salon on the UES. Friends, we need you to set up appointments with her! The haircuts are free, so you get all the pleasure of a salon, and you only really have to give her a tip!


I chew popcorn kernels. Katie tells me not to. She says I'm going to hurt my teef, and I say she's making up stories.

Today I chipped one of my already mangled top front teef on a popcorn kernel but don't tell her.

So I love katie. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. And secretly, I love it when she wears glasses.


In unrelated news, what is the DEAL with intelligent design theorists? What century do we have to reach before people will start packing up their antiquated and superstitious beliefs that attempt to directly contradict incontrovertible and rational evidence?

I used to respect Ben Stein. I really did. And then he released this movie called "Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed", which was lauded by the faux-intellectual right-wing politicians and theocratic scholars as a "fair and balanced look at the subjugation of intelligent design theorists in modern educational circles", with Ben Stein.

Turns out he's a loony nutbar, just like the rest of them.

Hey, real science, what's up?


In the film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed, narrator Ben Stein poses as a "rebel" willing to stand up to the scientific establishment in defense of freedom and honest, open discussion of controversial ideas like intelligent design (ID). But Expelled has some problems of its own with honest, open presentations of the facts about evolution, ID—and with its own agenda. Here are a few examples—add your own with a comment, and we may add it to another draft of this story. For our complete coverage, see "Expelled: No Intelligence AllowedScientific American's Take.

1) Expelled quotes Charles Darwin selectively to connect his ideas to eugenics and the Holocaust.

When the film is building its case that Darwin and the theory of evolution bear some responsibility for the Holocaust, Ben Stein's narration quotes from Darwin's The Descent of Man thusly:

With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated. We civilized men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination. We build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed and the sick. Thus the weak members of civilized societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. Hardly anyone is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.

This is how the original passage in The Descent of Man reads (unquoted sections emphasized in italics):

With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilized men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination. We build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed and the sick; we institute poor-laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of every one to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands, who from a weak constitution would formerly have succumbed to small-pox. Thus the weak members of civilized societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly anyone is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.

The producers of the film did not mention the very next sentences in the book (emphasis added in italics):

The aid which we feel impelled to give to the helpless is mainly an incidental result of the instinct of sympathy, which was originally acquired as part of the social instincts, but subsequently rendered, in the manner previously indicated, more tender and more widely diffused. Nor could we check our sympathy, even at the urging of hard reason, without deterioration in the noblest part of our nature. The surgeon may harden himself whilst performing an operation, for he knows that he is acting for the good of his patient; but if we were intentionally to neglect the weak and helpless, it could only be for a contingent benefit, with an overwhelming present evil.

Darwin explicitly rejected the idea of eliminating the "weak" as dehumanizing and evil. Those words falsify Expelled's argument. The filmmakers had to be aware of the full Darwin passage, but they chose to quote only the sections that suited their purposes.

2) Ben Stein's speech to a crowded auditorium in the film was a setup.

Viewers of Expelled might think that Ben Stein has been giving speeches on college campuses and at other public venues in support of ID and against "big science." But if he has, the producers did not include one. The speech shown at the beginning and end was staged solely for the sake of the movie. Michael Shermer learned as much by speaking to officials at Pepperdine University, where those scenes were filmed. Only a few of the audience members were students; most were extras brought in by the producers. Judge the ovation Ben Stein receives accordingly.

3) Scientists in the film thought they were being interviewed for a different movie.

As Richard Dawkins, PZ Myers, Eugenie Scott, Michael Shermer and other proponents of evolution appearing in Expelled have publicly remarked, the producers first arranged to interview them for a film that was to be called Crossroads, which was allegedly a documentary on "the intersection of science and religion." They were subsequently surprised to learn that they were appearing in Expelled, which "exposes the widespread persecution of scientists and educators who are pursuing legitimate, opposing scientific views to the reigning orthodoxy," to quote from the film's press kit.

When exactly did Crossroads become Expelled? The producers have said that the shift in the film's title and message occurred after the interviews with the scientists, as the accumulating evidence gradually persuaded them that ID believers were oppressed. Yet as blogger Wesley Elsberry discovered when he searched domain registrations, the producers registered the URL "expelledthemovie.com" on March 1, 2007—more than a month (and in some cases, several months) before the scientists were interviewed. The producers never registered the URL "crossroadsthemovie.com". Those facts raise doubt that Crossroads was still the working title for the movie when the scientists were interviewed.

4) The ID-sympathetic researcher whom the film paints as having lost his job at the Smithsonian Institution was never an employee there.

One section of Expelled relates the case of Richard Sternberg, who was a researcher at the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History and editor of the journal Proceedings of the Biological Society of Washington. According to the film, after Sternberg approved the publication of a pro-ID paper by Stephen C. Meyer of the Discovery Institute, he lost his editorship, was demoted at the Smithsonian, was moved to a more remote office, and suffered other professional setbacks. The film mentions a 2006 House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform report prepared for Rep. Mark Souder (R–Ind.), "Intolerance and the Politicization of Science at the Smithsonian," that denounced Sternberg's mistreatment.

This selective retelling of the Sternberg affair omits details that are awkward for the movie's case, however. Sternberg was never an employee of the Smithsonian: his term as a research associate always had a limited duration, and when it ended he was offered a new position as a research collaborator. As editor, Sternberg's decision to "peer-review" and approve Meyer's paper by himself was highly questionable on several grounds, which was why the scientific society that published the journal later repudiated it. Sternberg had always been planning to step down as the journal's editor—the issue in which he published the paper was already scheduled to be his last.

The report prepared by Rep. Souder, who had previously expressed pro-ID views, was never officially accepted into the Congressional Record. Notwithstanding the report's conclusions, its appendix contains copies of e-mails and other documents in which Sternberg's superiors and others specifically argued against penalizing him for his ID views. (More detailed descriptions of the Sternberg case can be found on Ed Brayton's blog Dispatches from the Culture Wars and on Wikipedia.)
5) Science does not reject religious or "design-based" explanations because of dogmatic atheism.

Expelled frequently repeats that design-based explanations (not to mention religious ones) are "forbidden" by "big science." It never explains why, however. Evolution and the rest of "big science" are just described as having an atheistic preference.

Actually, science avoids design explanations for natural phenomena out of logical necessity. The scientific method involves rigorously observing and experimenting on the material world. It accepts as evidence only what can be measured or otherwise empirically validated (a requirement called methodological naturalism). That requirement prevents scientific theories from becoming untestable and overcomplicated.

By those standards, design-based explanations rapidly lose their rigor without independent scientific proof that validates and defines the nature of the designer. Without it, design-based explanations rapidly become unhelpful and tautological: "This looks like it was designed, so there must be a designer; we know there is a designer because this looks designed."

A major scientific problem with proposed ID explanations for life is that their proponents cannot suggest any good way to disprove them. ID "theories" are so vague that even if specific explanations are disproved, believers can simply search for new signs of design. Consequently, investigators do not generally consider ID to be a productive or useful approach to science.

6) Many evolutionary biologists are religious and many religious people accept evolution.

Expelled includes many clips of scientists such as Richard Dawkins, Daniel Dennett, William Provine and PZ Myers who are also well known as atheists. They talk about how their knowledge of science confirms their convictions and how in some cases science led them to atheism. And indeed, surveys do indicate that atheism is more common among scientists than in the general population.

Nevertheless, the film is wrong to imply that understanding of evolution inevitably or necessarily leads to a rejection of religious belief. Francisco Ayala of the University of California, Irvine, a leading neuroscientist who used to be a Dominican priest, continues to be a devout Catholic, as does the evolutionary biologist Ken Miller of Brown University. Thousands of other biologists across the U.S. who all know evolution to be true are also still religious. Moreover, billions of other people around the world simultaneously accept evolution and keep faith with their religion. The late Pope John Paul II said that evolution was compatible with Roman Catholicism as an explanation for mankind's physical origins.

During Scientific American's post-screening conversation with Expelled associate producer Mark Mathis, we asked him why Ken Miller was not included in the film. Mathis explained that his presence would have "confused" viewers. But the reality is that showing Miller would have invalidated the film's major premise that evolutionary biologists all reject God.

Inside and outside the scientific community, people will no doubt continue to debate rationalism and religion and disagree about who has the better part of that argument. Evidence from evolution will probably remain at most a small part of that conflict, however.

-Scientific American